why didn't you save me?

TRIGGER WARNINGS!: claustrophobia, emotional manipulation, discussions of physical abuse

HIIIII!!! thank you guys SO so much for the support ur all so incredible i cannot believe it T-T u guys r the best for real

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Technoblade was at a loss for words. After watching what he’d just watched he truly had no idea how to react. Seeing his twin brother treat Tommy, someone the two of them had always looked out for, so harshly and... horribly, it made his stomach turn.

Despite the rumours or widely believed stigma, Technoblade was not heartless. He was withdrawn and anxious, bad at conversation and scarily quiet for the most part, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about others. That being said, the list of people he actually did care for was extremely short, and by that he meant it was really just his immediate family members. Sure, he’d tried giving a damn about close friends, but it always ended in betrayal or something bitter along those lines. In his mind he didn’t need anyone more than his family.

He lived on a huge server, yes, and had been known for being somewhat amicable with others from time to time, but the truth was that he trusted them much shorter than he could throw them. People seemed to have this odd misconception about him; that The Blood God existed merely for the thrill of battle, the bloodshed and screams of his enemies. It wasn’t true. The voices, they existed for those things, but he was not them. He would never be them. Beneath his sadistic urges and uncontrollable tendencies, he was a living breathing feeling person, contrary to popular belief.

Being part piglin only did more to drill the idea that he was some emotionless beast into the minds of others, so he remained in recluse, only bothering himself with three people.

Tommy was one of those three.

Techno had spent many a decade ambling around countless arenas and servers with his father at his side, searching for any sort of release from the whisperings and hissings of death and blood within his head, so needless to say he hadn’t spent much time at home. He didn’t know Tommy as well as he could’ve, but that was okay, because he didn’t claim to.

He knew his position. He knew Wilbur knew Tommy inside and out. He knew that.

So when he’d been invited onto Dream’s server by none other than Tommyinnit he’d been, admittedly, confused. Sure, he wasn’t blind. He knew that to Tommy he was The Blade ; his big strong older brother who was always off on cool adventures with The Philza Minecraft . He knew Tommy idolized him; that as much as the kid bragged about having the coolest big brother, he didn’t actually see Technoblade as a brother, nor did he see Philza as a father.

To Tommy, the two were like celebrities. They’d come home from time to time, regale the two ‘shut-ins’ on their battles and triumphs, give the blond a pat on the head for good measure, and then be gone in the morning, not a trace of them in sight. Tommy had always seen them as more of idols than family; out of his reach, and Technoblade knew that.

That’s why he hadn’t been sure about joining Dream’s SMP, and when he finally did, he kept his distance.

He was… worried. Worried that if Tommy got too close he’d see that Technoblade wasn’t actually The Blade , but just some piglin brute who couldn’t control his bloodlust. He didn’t want Tommy to see that he couldn’t control the violence, and that he was something to be feared, not revered.

But it seemed in his attempt to keep up the charade of a hero, he’d been completely blind to the fact that a hero was exactly what Tommy had needed. He didn’t need The Blade, he’d needed Techno. Tommy had needed someone who could have stopped Wilbur, and Technoblade knew that even if words had failed him he could’ve been a barrier between the two. He could have protected Tommy if he knew, but he didn’t. And the blond had suffered for it.

He’d been worried of imposing, as well. He knew Tommy and Wilbur were close and, well, he didn’t know the kid all that well. Of course, when it came to Wilbur, he could never forget how to talk to his twin. Even if it had been a thousand years it would’ve been as if nothing had changed, but that wasn’t the case for him and Tommy. That said, where he’d assumed Tommy would’ve been thankful for the space, he was actually dead wrong. The last thing that boy had needed was to be alone with Wilbur.

Techno felt… guilty. Believe him, that was new. Incredibly new. He’d always been in positions where he could confidently say there was nothing he could’ve done, but by then, by then he knew, he had options. He knew he could have been there. He knew he should have seen something; whether it be bruises on Tommy’s forearms or a series of flinches when Wilbur moved too fast he should have seen.

It wasn’t his fault, he knew that. He didn’t exactly blame himself, no, but he did feel partially responsible for enabling the person that Wilbur had become. His own selfish desires, of goading Wilbur on and praising the new unhinged behaviour had only made it harder for Tommy to keep his head afloat.

The memory he’d just witnessed, of Wilbur hitting Tommy, of Wilbur locking Tommy in a closet, of Tommy passing out from hyperventilating, it was fucking jarring. He’d seen gruesome death after gruesome death in his life but somehow what he’d seen just then took the cake. It made him feel absolutely sick inside, and he didn’t know what to do about it because it’d already happened.

He wasn’t dumb, and he could tell things would only get worse from thereon. He’d been the only one to really see Tommy after exile. He knew things would get worse, and suddenly he wasn’t sure if he could deal with watching it.

Still, at the end of the day, the kid was rude and loud. He didn’t deserve what Wilbur had done to him, god no, but Techno wasn’t going to treat him like he was some saint. Tommy was obsessed with those stupid discs, and he’d put people before them if it came to it. Tommy was arrogant and never learnt from his mistakes. Tommy had betrayed Techno; he was selfish. So, yes, he did feel ashamed, and he did care for his younger brother, but that wouldn’t change the fact that Tommy was annoying and never faced real consequences for his actions. If he did he complained that it was unfair. He wasn’t worth the effort, in Techno’s mind. Sure, family was family, and he’d die for the kid, but that didn’t mean he had to tolerate him in the slightest or not think of him as some little brat.

“...Is he going to be okay?” Sapnap whispered quietly, looking shaken up still.

“He’ll be fine.” Tubbo declared without skipping a beat, “He’s always fine.”

“Tubbo…” Ranboo began, eyes sad and tired. He and Tubbo alike knew that Tommy was far from fine, and had been for quite some time. But as his husband turned to him he knew, Tubbo needed this. He needed to believe Tommy could bounce back no matter what, even after going completely catatonic he had to be fine. They needed him to be.

Ranboo quieted, letting Tubbo have his way.

The sun was high in the sky, shining down on fields of wheat and grass. The clouds were sparse, and the wind blew gently, just enough to ruffle a bird’s feathers. There was a small little fenced cottage sitting happily in the middle of a large field, pens full of animals beside it. Far to the left a dark forest grew, imposing on their bright little area.

This was not Dream’s server.

Both Techno and Phil’s eyes lit up at the sight, hearts tugging. Their very first home, the place where all three of the children had grown up.

It looked so… happy.

Two young children giggled and screamed as they ran around the front yard, slashing and hacking back and forth at each other with wooden swords. One of them had long brown hair in a braid, while the other had short fluffy brown hair and a pair of circular glasses. They parried and poked, having at each other with rather improper forms, but it didn’t seem to matter to them.

“You’re naturally brunet?” Fundy asked, leaning over. Apparently it was no difficult feat figuring out who the two kids were. Curse Wilbur and his ability to never outgrow that… that look! Both Techno and Tommy were adamant that the middle child (by two minutes! only two minutes!) had been born with this… cursed face. He was forever recognizable. From four to forty you knew exactly who you were looking at without skipping a beat. His stupid hair didn’t help much either.

“What, did you think Wilbur had naturally pink hair?” The piglin hybrid replied.

“Guess I just never thought about it… Wait! Does that mean Wilbur’s part piglin too!?”

Phil gave the fox hybrid an odd look. “...Yes? They’re twins, mate.”

Everyone was staring at that point, looking perplexed, as though the fact that the two boys who had once been one cell might’ve had the same genes had never crossed their minds.

“Then why does he look so… Wilbur?” Quackity asked, gesturing to the screen.

Phil laughed loudly, grinning. “He had pointed ears, just like Techno. His fuckin hair covered em though. He also had tusks, but just like how Tech can retract his so could he. That’s all really, other than, well… amplified strength…”

The bird hybrid’s smile slipped at that. He’d been trying to ignore the elephant in the room, they all had, trusting Drista would do whatever she would as the situation was out of their hands, but the thought of Wilbur being stronger than average all brought them back to the same conclusion.

Tommy hadn’t stood a chance, ever.

No one spoke after that, going back to the screen.

“You really suck at this.” Techno grinned, long braid swinging back and forth as he avoided the other’s wooden sword.

“I do not!” Wilbur insisted, voice rising an octave as he grew upset. He was pouting, swordsmanship becoming sloppier the more in his feelings he got. Techno avoided another jab, laughing as Wilbur just barely deflected his attack.

“I want to play too!” A third voice came, much more high pitched and worse with pronunciations. Wilbur and Techno both froze, sighing simultaneously and turning on their heels at the same time. Twin synchronization was weird.

Tommy, who couldn’t have been more than six, stood tall and proud in the grass, hands on his hips and his chest puffed out. Despite his age he had the same angry expression he always did, eyebrows furrowed and lips pulled into a large frown.

“Look Tommy,” Techno began, “if we wanted to play with babies we’d tell you. But we don’t.”

“So go away!” Wilbur butted in, looking annoying.

Tommy took a deep breath, face growing red as his eyes filled with tears, before turning and making his way back to the cottage wordlessly.

“Oh no,” The elder murmured, looking tired. Wilbur gave his brother a long suffering glance.

“Boys!” Came a loud cry from inside. Both twins cringed, looking over at the open window. Phil was stood inside, washing the dishes and watching them as they played. Tommy sat on the counter, regarding them with a smug smile. “Either you let your brother play or I’m quite sure I could find some spring cleaning for the three of you to do!”

“But da-”

“ Wil.” Phil said sternly, leaving no room open for arguments.

Techno pursed his lips, remembering that day well. Him and Wil had felt awful after what they’d done.

“Fine!” Wilbur cried, throwing his hands in the air, looking rather pissed off. Techno let out a loud groan, throwing his head back.

Tommy came skipping out of the house and up towards them, smiling wide like the little shit he was. He stopped before the two, looking up at them with his wide unnerving eyes that had always creeped them out.

“You’re both fucking idiots.” He grinned.

Phil gaped at the screen as his five-year old swore, turning to look at Techno who was pointedly looking away from his father.

Everyone else in the room erupted into laughter at the scene.

“Where did he learn that!?” Phil cried.

Both twins’ jaws dropped.

“We told you not to repeat those words!” Wilbur hissed, looking panicked.

“If you can say them I can say them too!” Tommy insisted, pausing for a moment, “Dickhead!”

“Whatever…” The middle child grumbled, rolling his sleeves up. “Doesn’t matter anyways because you are not playing- I mean sword fighting with us.”

Tommy blinked at him, tilting his head. Both he and Techno recoiled at the glance. The pre-teen equivalent of a toddler grinned darkly at them. He cupped his little hands around his mouth, sucking in a large breath.

“ DA- ”

“ Okay! Okay!” Wilbur interrupted, eyes wide. “Just… don’t do that…”

“Why is baby Tommy so scary? ” Karl shivered.

“He’s evil…” George muttered.

“Yay!” The blond giggled, smiling. Techno let out an exhausted sigh. “I want to use Techno’s sword!” Tommy insisted, making grabbing motions towards the ‘weapon’ in the eldest hands.

Wilbur’s eyes seemed to shine at that, and he grinned to himself. Techno took a step forward, ready to tell the youngest that he would not be using his sword, but Wilbur spoke up first.

“You know Tommy,” Wil began, “there’s another sword in the shed. We could do a three on three if you went to get it.”

Techno looked over at his twin, perplexed, but one glance from Wilbur mischievously screamed trust me, and so he relented.

Tommy grew a bit weary at the mention of the shed, shying away. Wil took that as his moment to really drive his idea home.

“Is anything wrong, Tommy?” He cooed, “Are you scared?”

Instantly, a look of pure rage passed over the youngest’s face, and he began to scream and hiss at them, declaring loudly that he was ‘a big man’ and ‘didn’t get scared’.

“Y’know Tommy, there’s nothing wrong with being scared.” Techno cut in, smiling in a fake sympathetic way. He wasn’t sure where Wilbur was headed with his ploy, but twins always plotted together.

“I’m not fuckin scared!” Tommy screamed, nearly jumping as he did and turning around, marching on down behind the cottage towards the shed.

“I remember this…” Phil muttered, looking worn down. “There was less swearing from my youngest in my memory though…”

The two watched their younger brother disappear around the corner of their house silently. Wilbur turned to his brother, evil glint in his eye. He gestured for Techno to come with as he followed after Tommy.

The boy in question skipped happily, parading through the grass. He stopped to pretend to tie his shoe, despite them being velcro. He’d noticed both Techno and Wilbur would often kneel down to tie their laces, and he didn’t quite understand why. So occasionally he’d bend over, looking down at his little strap on shoes, and pretend to tie them, just sort of playing with his hands until he was content.

He got back up, making his way over to the rickety old shed he had always tried to avoid. He didn’t notice the two figures watching him from afar.

Tommy took a steadying breath, staring up at the shack as it seemed to double in size. “I’m a big man.” He whispered quietly to himself. “Big man.”

With one mighty pull, he managed to swing open the large door, straining to do so. Instantly, the atmosphere changed to something dark and cold. Tommy swallowed thickly. He looked around the doorway, hoping he could find the extra wooden sword there and merely grab it without stepping in, but to no avail.

“There’s no extra sword, is there?” Quackity asked. Techno shook his head and Puffy let out a low whine, frowning at the screen.

“He’s just a baby! Why would you trick him like that!?”

“First, he’s five.” Techno held up a finger, “and second, we were thirteen. We didn’t want to play with him.”

He swallowed thickly, calming himself before taking a step into the shed, and then another. Tommy looked around at the high up shelves, scanning them. He frowned, taking a more cautious step inside.

Behind him, the door slammed shut, and he let out a loud gasp, turning around as fast as he could.

Techno sighed, putting his head in his hands. The amount of days they’d spent doting on Tommy to make up for that…

“You didn’t know he was claustrophobic…” Phil smiled weakly, trying to comfort him, “None of us did.”

Tommy let out a low whine, running towards the door and pressing up against it. He heard a lock clicking and two little snickers from outside.

Tears pricked at his vision and he frowned, trying to jump up and grab the doorknob. His breathing picked up rather fast, and the next time he blinked there were tears streaming down his cheeks.

He sobbed, pushing weakly against the door. He pushed again, but nothing came, and he grew more panicked, losing himself in his own mind. He let out a loud cry, beginning to breathe even faster, unable to measure how much time was going by but knowing he needed out.

The screen glitched, changing from Tommy in the shed to the older version of Tommy in the closet.

It flickered between the two, back and forth until the shed door was swung open. The silhouette of his father stood before him, sunlight streaming into the shack. Tommy smiled up, tears almost immediately stopping at the sight.

But the scene changed again, to a silhouette of Wilbur standing in the closet doorway, looking down on his younger brother with glowing red eyes.

It switched back and forth between saviour and tormentor, static on the screen growing more thick as a ringing went out through the room.

Suddenly, the screen went black, and there was nothing but Tommy’s quiet, teen voice.

“Why didn’t you save me this time?”

Phil took in a sharp breath, eyes pricking at the scene. “ Oh Tommy…” He whispered, fists clenching at the fabric of his cloak around him. Tommy had needed him.

Ranboo, despite his generally empathetic and caring nature, couldn’t find it in himself to feel any sympathy for Phil. Tommy had needed the older man and he hadn’t been there. Tommy had needed a father. Tommy had needed someone other than Wilbur to raise him, because clearly the lack of a father had impacted Wilbur himself in an awful, twisted way.

The enderman hybrid was nearly boiling over with rage. He’d joined the server after Wilbur’s demise, but from what he’d heard, the man was ‘loving’ and ‘gentle’. All Ranboo had seen was a manipulative abusive asshole. Mentally unsound or not he was hurting Tommy, badly, and Ranboo didn’t allow anyone to hurt Tommy.

What angered him most, however, was the sick realization he’d had.

The reactions across the room, the loud sobs and terrified gasps, they were directed more at Wilbur’s actions than they were at Tommy’s suffering. These people in the room… they were mourning the loss of the Wilbur in their heads more than they were mourning Tommy, the living boy who’d been just beside them. They were more ruined by the fact that Wilbur had done those things than the fact that they’d been done to Tommy.

To almost everyone in the room, Tommy was still, Tommy. It didn’t make sense to say aloud but in his brain it did. Tommy wasn’t Tommy to Ranboo he was Tommy. He was a loud and rude kid, yes, but he was also Tubbo’s best friend who he’d watched fight tooth and nail to keep Tubbo alive. He was immature and brash, but he was also the very first friend Ranboo had made on the server. He was ‘selfish’ ( sure he was ), but he’d also taken the whole fall for George’s house, not ratting Ranboo out even in the face of a second exile. To Ranboo, Tommy was family.

To everyone else? Well, they didn’t know him at all. To them he was just a selfish rude kid.

Eyes flitting over to the empty space beside him, Ranboo frowned, thinking of the blond. His heart ached for Tommy, and the minute he got him back he wouldn’t be letting anyone lay a hand on him.

Tommy awoke with a gasp, eyes shooting open as he rocketed into a sitting position. His hair was a mess, even rattier than before, and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself and recall why he awoke in such a panic. He looked around at his surroundings, recognizing the jagged stone and the bed as his room. He couldn’t place exactly what happened, grabbing a fistful of blanket and frowning.

“Tommy!” A voice called, as though they were relieved, “Oh thank god!”

Wilbur stepped into the room, stomping his cigarette into the ground as he rushed over to the bed in the corner. He looked wrecked, more so than usual. His hair was even more matted than Tommy’s, and his eyebags were practically dark black at that point. He surged forward, reaching a hand out for the blond.

At the sight of his older brother, all of the memories of prior events came rushing back, and Tommy let out a startled yelp, backing away from the man nearing him. He pressed his back against the corner, eyes wide and terrified as he breathed heavily.

Wilbur stopped dead in his tracks, hands falling to his side. He looked so sad. “Oh Tommy…” He whispered, voice hoarse as tears pricked at his eyes, “I’m so sorry…”

Tommy frowned, looking confused, but lowering his guard slightly. The fear of Wilbur being angry at him was thankfully just his imagination.

Tubbo felt his chest tighten at Wilbur’s actions, and his eyes widened. If the man was about to do what he thought he was….

Wilbur pulled a chair up close to Tommy’s bedside, slouching down in it. The latter had yet to move from his position against the wall, still watching his older brother like a frightened animal.

“I’m so sorry, Tommy.” Wilbur pressed, eyes looking desperate. Tommy swallowed thickly, some of the tension releasing in his body.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He managed, muttering it quietly. If Wilbur wasn’t mad, well, someone had to be mad, right?

“Tommy…” Wilbur began, frowning.

“You hit me!” Tommy pressed, pausing to laugh incredulously, “A-And you… you locked me in there…” He whispered, no absence of horror or betrayal in his tone.

“I didn’t- I wasn’t thinking clearly Tommy I-”

“ You hurt m-”

“ I did what I had to!” Wilbur snapped, interrupting the younger. Tommy flinched instantly, closing his mouth and pressing up against the wall.

“I- Fuck! ” The elder’s shoulders dropped as he placed his head in his hands, shaking slightly. Tommy was watching with worried eyes.

“I am so so sorry, Tommy.” Wilbur repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. Tommy stared, eyes sad and welling with tears.

They sat in silence.

“...Why?” The younger asked finally, bottom lip wobbling.

Wilbur sighed, running a hand through his hair. He rubbed at his face, looking Tommy in the eyes.

“I was so worried you were going to leave me,” He whispered, “so worried you’d take off with Schlatt and I- I’d be alone… I shouldn’t have hit you, I know, I was just… I was scared,” his eyes welled with tears, “ I fucked up, Tommy…”

Tubbo seethed at the screen. It was taking everything within him not to scream at the top of his lungs. How dare Wilbur try and victimize himself in a situation like that?

The worst part was that he knew Tommy. Tubbo knew his best friend had a scarily big heart and that the chances of him blaming himself were… they were high.

Tommy didn’t know what to say, so he merely stared.

“I’m such an idiot,” Wil sobbed into his hands, “I’m so fucking stupid!” He raised his head, gripping at his hair and pulling it tightly. Tommy’s eyes went wide, and without even thinking he scrambled across the bed, pawing at his older brother’s hands.

“Wil stop it!” He hissed, “You’re hurting yourself!”

Wilbur snapped his head up then, staring at Tommy with wide eyes. And for the first time in forever, Tommy saw Wilbur in his eyes. He could see his brother.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, tears of his own gathering in his eyes, “I-It’s okay.”

It really wasn’t. But Tommy didn’t know any better. All he could see was that Wilbur was hurting himself and it was his fault. Hell, maybe Wilbur had done what he’d needed to do. He obviously cared a lot about Tommy if he was crying that much. The man felt so guilty, and he was usually so gentle with the boy.

Wordlessly, Tommy scooted over in the bed, and Wilbur hesitantly climbed in. He laid down on his side, pulling his younger brother down and clutching him close to his chest as his fingers carded through the blond hair. They laid in silence.

“You’d never leave me, right Tommy?”

Tommy closed his eyes, letting himself lay in Wilbur’s arms. The bruising under his eye was highlighted in the low flame of the torches.

“Never.” He affirmed quietly.

Tubbo broke into sobs.

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thank you so much for reading!! so glad you guys are enjoying this and hopefully this chapter wasn't too bad!! lmk if there's any characterization/etc. i can improve on!!