THERE WAS A PROBLEM W THE BOLD TEXT THE FIRST TIME I TRIED UPLOADING THIS IMSORRYYYY

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

The screen lit up, temporarily blinding them as they had to adjust once more. When he could properly see again, Tommy almost didn’t recognize the face on screen.

A short, young blonde boy stood on the edge of a cliff, smiling confidently. He had his arms on his hips, chest puffed out. Beneath him, a small gated community sat, a van one of the very few builds inside the walls.

Tommy stared with wide eyes, lips parted slightly as he watched in almost disbelief. His bandaged hand came up to touch his face, fingerprints that had burnt off so many times ghosting against his cheek. That was him. Last time he’d looked in the mirror he’d looked nothing close to that.

The younger version on the screen had bouncy joyful hair, fluffing up and blowing in the wind. He still had braces, though it didn’t seem to bother him at all. His eyes were a bright blue, a playful glint in them. Though somewhat scrawny, he looked healthy and filled out.

Tommy looked down at his hands. Nails chewed raw, covered in scars. The white part of his hair fell forwards, obscuring his view slightly, and he tucked it back into place. His cheeks were sunken in, clothes hanging off his emaciated frame. There were large bruises under his grey dulled eyes, little scars and cuts littering his face, and his hair was flat, greasy and matted with blood. He swallowed thickly.

“Holy fuck is that Tommy?” Quackity asked, leaning forward with interest. The others seemed intrigued as well. Whether or not they noticed how his state had so drastically deteriorated, they didn’t say.

“Thought I’d find you up here.” A voice called, a small smile in their tone. The young Tommy looked back, smiling widely.

The air grew tense in the room immediately.

“Wilbur!” He cried excitedly, waving at the man.

Wilbur Soot strode forward, fully adorned in his General’s attire. He had a relaxed face, smirking softly.

“Admiring the country, are we?” He teased, ruffling Tommy’s hair. The blonde hissed, swatting at him and spouting profanities. Wilbur only laughed.

Tommy’s own hand raised to where Wilbur had touched him on the screen, swallowing thickly as he tried to imagine what it’d felt like. He didn’t really remember many good things anymore. Images of Wilbur gripping his hair tightly and dragging him to the floor flashed in his mind, and he quickly brought his hand back down, biting his lip. He fucking hated this.

“He looks dumb in that hat…” Tubbo mumbled, trying to raise the mood. The other residents of the room chuckled, some agreeing quietly. Tommy tried to relax but found his knee bouncing up and down, he frowned.

“I’ve been talking to Dream,” Wilbur hummed, looking off the cliff and into the distance. His long blue coat flapped in the wind, one of the ends hitting Tommy in the face. The young boy scowled, pushing the coattail away only for it to come billowing back.

Many of them laughed at that, choosing to ignore the name in Wilbur’s mouth.

“Dream, eh?” Tommy grinned, tilting his chin up, “what about?”

“Our independence of course, idiot.” The older replied, but there was no malice in his tone.

Tommy felt his heart drop, thinking back to the days where Wilbur’s insults were just lighthearted banter; days where he felt safe around the man.

“You fucking idiot!”

“I- I’m sorry Wil, really I just-”

“Jesus, can’t you do anything right Toms?”

“And?” Tommy asked, “What’d the big man say?”

Wilbur looked down at him, a brow raised.

“What do you think he said?” He murmured, and the blonde still didn’t look the least bit discouraged. Wilbur sighed, momentarily removing his hat so he could card a hand through his unruly hair. Tommy sat wordlessly, letting his legs hang off the edge of the cliff as he swung them back and forth. It was a long way down, Fundy, Tubbo and Eret were mere specks below them, milling about in the premature L’manberg.

They spent a couple moments in silence. Wilbur stood at Tommy’s side, and as the sun set, his shadow slowly casted over the boy more and more. The wind ruffled their hair and clothes, and the older gripped his hat.

“There’s war coming, Tommy.” He said, tone sad and heavy. Tommy merely hummed, still looking far off at the treeline.

“I want you to be my right-hand man, to help lead our men in the fight against Dream. Will you follow me into battle, Tommy?”

Tommy still didn’t look up, a far away look in his eyes. He didn’t seem very bothered by anything his brother was saying.

“You know I’d follow you anywhere, Wil.” He replied quietly. Wilbur huffed a laugh, dipping his head and grinning softly.

“Yeah,” he raised his head slightly, staring down at the boy who was still looking off, “I know.”

Tommy took a deep steadying breath, trying to keep his emotions in check. Rage bloomed in his chest at the fond memory.

He had followed Wilbur. He’d followed him until the end and it’d gotten him nowhere. He’d followed Wilbur without hesitation just for the older to up and leave him.

He’d even followed Wilbur into death.

“Wonder where that passionate loyalty went.” Technoblade commented dryly, face unimpressed, though after years of knowing his big brother, Tommy could tell there was a fondness in his eyes reserved only for Wilbur. The others laughed, though some of them seemed bitter about it. Tommy scowled, growing angrier by the second as he forced himself to bite his tongue.

There weren’t many ways to justify his actions without revealing his weaknesses.

“Piss off.” He muttered, crossing his arms. Techno looked as if he wanted to reply, but was interrupted by the screen as the scene changed.

The sun was bright, shining down on the little group hidden within the walls. Eret and Wilbur were relaxing, backs against the van and cooling in the shade. Fundy was napping in the sun not too far off, nestled in the grass just a couple feet from them.

Both Tubbo and Fundy instantly lit up at the memory, grinning widely.

“I remember this day!” Tubbo insisted excitedly. “Wilbur managed to get us some cakes and fruit so we had a picnic to celebrate!”

“Why would cakes and fruit be such a big deal?” Ranboo asked.

“We didn’t eat much other than rations,” Fundy explained, shrugging, “it was dangerous to leave the walls so we never even got a good farm going. We didn’t have livestock so up until the election we survived on mostly bread and water.”

“Man, I don’t even know how Wilbur got the stuff for a cake,” Tubbo hummed happily, reminiscing. Neither seemed to notice the mood in the room having gone slightly sour.

“That’s pretty depressing…” Sapnap mumbled, and a couple others nodded. Tubbo turned to glare.

“It was dangerous because of you three.” He bit out, words clipped. Sapnap seemed to shrink under Tubbo’s gaze, and George glared at the goat hybrid, though no one could see from behind the goggles.

“Tubboooooo!” A loud cry rang out from the left of the two adults, though neither of them looked.

“What is it Tommy?” Another voice sighed, though they sounded slightly amused.

Tubbo and Tommy were both strewn upon the grass, Tubbo upright as he seemed to be embroidering something, and Tommy leaning on his shoulder.

“You look a lot younger in these, Tommy.” Puffy commented, interested in how the boy seemed to have grown so much in such a short time.

“Yeah well,” he laughed, “got me braces taken off and had a growth spurt. Think my voice changed a bit too…”

“I’m hot!” Tommy whined, voice high and reedy.

The room laughed as Tommy’s cheeks went red.

“I’ll say.” Sam muttered, smiling.

“I’d say you’re actually quite ugly.” Tubbo replied, a ghost of a smile on his face. Instantly Tommy shot up, whacking his friend as the older laughed.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” He hissed, flopping down on his back and staring at the sky with a pout on his face. Tubbo rolled his eyes, smiling visibly.

“I want to-” The blonde paused, eyes widening, “I want to go swimming.”

Tubbo stopped at this, placing his project down on the grass and looking at his friend. Tommy sat up, looking over in his older brother’s direction.

“Wil-”

“No.” Wilbur interrupted, not even looking over. Tommy gave him an affronted glare while Tubbo visibly deflated.

“But Wil-”

“I said no.”

Eret looked over at the two children, who both seemed to be at least somewhat upset at the news. She looked over at Wilbur and nudged him with her arm. He looked at her, unimpressed.

“There’s a stream a little ways up, Wil.” She informed him, “opposite direction of the castle.”

“Eret,” Wilbur began, sighing tiredly.

“It’ll be good for them.” She insisted, “good for all of us actually.”

“Where is Eret, by the way?” Karl asked, looking around.

“She’s successfully removed herself from almost all conflict.” Drista’s disembodied voice came from overhead, “there was no need to drag her here when she’s learnt her lesson. Unlike you lot…”

“Fair enough I guess.” Ranboo hummed, not particularly upset. Agreeable bastard.

The scene shifted to a forested area, a small shallow stream running through the woods. It wasn’t exactly what Tommy had envisioned when he’d asked to go swimming, but it was better than nothing.

“You bitch!” Tubbo shrieked, jumping in the air as Tommy splashed cold water at him, a devious grin on his face. The older immediately retaliated, splashing back as hard as he could. Their coats had been stripped and left on the riverside, their long uniform pants rolled up past their calves as they amused themselves.

Eret watched the two laughing and chasing each other with a smile on her face. She couldn’t help the laugh tumbling from her lips as the two children teamed up against Fundy.

“NO NO NO NO!” the fox hybrid was bolting around, trying to avoid the teens with water buckets as they chased him, both of them smiling evilly. Eventually, they caught him, and he let out a bloodcurdling scream.

“Do you idiots know how long it takes for my tail to dry!?” He whined, holding his soggy tail as if it was a fallen comrade. Tubbo and Tommy only laughed.

Wilbur was standing off to the side, completely vigilant as he scanned their surroundings. Eret put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Relax, Wil.” She smiled, “look at how much fun they’re having.”

The two of them looked back at where a furious Fundy was knelt in the stream, holding Tommy facedown in the water as Tubbo laughed hysterically. When Tommy’s air ran out, he heaved the boy up and was immediately met by an onslaught of profanities and kicks aimed at him. All three of them were smiling wide though.

“Remind me to never get your tail wet.” Sam said, looking to Fundy. The latter laughed loudly.

“Who knows how long it’ll be till they can do this again.”

Wilbur’s face softened, smiling for just a moment.

“I miss those days…” Tubbo whispered, eyes sad. Tommy frowned sympathetically. He missed them too.

“No offense but what exactly is the point of this?” Quackity inquired, staring up at the ceiling, “are a couple cute home video type shits supposed to make wars just stop?” He snarked.

“I’m warming you idiots up.” Drista replied icily, “do you want me to delve into the heavy things right away?”

There was a lingering silence, most of them taking into account what she’d said and trying to imagine what memories would apply to them.

“That’s what I thought.”

Tommy could practically see her rolling her eyes at them. He smirked.

The scene switched once more to a rabbit in a bushed area. It was lazily grazing around, chewing on grass and slowly hopping around. The sun shone down through spaces in the trees.

Without warning, the rabbit was speared by an arrow, pinning it to a tree.

Many of them reared back at that, not expecting the jumpscare.

“Jesus…” Phil muttered.

“Excellent aim Tommy!” Wilbur popped out from the bushes, a proud look on his face. He clapped the young blonde on the back, congratulating him. Tommy, bow in hand, gleamed up at his older brother, grinning with his braces on full display.

“Soon enough I’ll be shooting Sapnap and George with these eh? Not just some rabbits!” He laughed excitedly as Wilbur collected the now dead rabbit.

“That’s a bit dark.” Ranboo mumbled, looking slightly jarred. Tommy gave him an unimpressed look.

“We were preparing for war, Ranboob.” He snarked.

“Right you are.” Wil ruffled his hair as he began walking back inside the walls, “you’re a good shot, Toms.”

“Hell yeah I am.” Tommy basked in the praise, smiling. His older brother rolled his eyes endearingly.

Many residents of the room rolled their eyes at that as well, though not so endearingly.

As they stepped foot inside the walls, they were met with nothing out of the ordinary. The sun was beginning to set, and the torches helped to illuminate the small enclosure they called home.

“Watch out!” Someone cried from above, voice cracking as they yelled.

Tommy didn’t even have time to look up before something had slammed into his head, knocking him to the ground. He blinked blearily, ears ringing as his vision remained blurry and muddled. He tried to look around, figure out what had happened, but he could only see fuzzy shapes before him.

“-ommy!”

He could vaguely make out more figures appearing, but still couldn’t tell what was going on.

“ook at- e!” There was something close up to his face, but he wasn’t able to figure out what, “-hit! Fuck!”

“What the fuck happened?” Quackity asked, staring at the screen.

“Someone dropped a supply crate on my head.” Tommy said, pointedly glaring at Fundy. The man in question laughed nervously, giving him a sheepish grin.

“Maybe you got brain damage,” Tubbo suggested unhelpfully.

“Would explain a lot…” Jack muttered angrily.

“Unfortunately we can’t pin this guy on the crate,” Technoblade interjected, “Tommy’s always just been like this.”

A couple of them laughed as Tommy gave his older brother an affronted glare, pouting. He tried to tell himself it was banter, but deep down he knew every word that hurt even a little was meant to do just that.

When Tommy finally regained his vision and hearing, disorientation fading, he could see Wilbur’s face hovering above his. The elder’s face was twisted with concern, tears building in his eyes.

“Tommy!” He cried out, noticing the boy seemed more aware finally. He wrapped him in a large hug, pulling back and immediately apologizing when Tommy winced.

“What happened?” The blonde slurred, bringing a hand to his head and staring in confusion when it came away red.

“There was an accident with one of the supply crates.” Wilbur informed him breathlessly, eyes flitting all around his frame to see if there were other injuries. Tommy managed to crane his neck enough to see a large wooden box overturned and smashed on the grass. “Can you walk?”

He tried to nod, growing dizzy at just that. Wilbur helped him to his feet and he immediately lurched over, nearly falling flat on his face.

“Fuck!” Wilbur’s hand shot out, steadying the blonde before quickly scooping him up. Tommy weakly tried to protest, blood dribbling down his face as he insisted he could walk.

“Dude you so clearly cannot walk.” Karl said, gesturing to the screen. Tommy looked back at him and shrugged.

“It’s a wonder you’re even still awake.” Sam commented, sounding slightly impressed.

“I’m a big man, Sam.” He grinned, “No stupid fuckin crate can take me out.”

“I’ve got you Toms.” Wilbur assured, holding his kid brother tight as he rushed to the medbay.

When he arrived Eret and Tubbo had set up a cot, and he gently set the boy down. Perhaps one of the only benefits to an upcoming war was their abundance of medical supplies. Fundy stood nervously off to the side, tail flicking back and forth anxiously.

“I- I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to-” He paused as someone placed a hand on his shoulder. Eret was looking at him.

“It was an accident, Funds.” She smiled, “and we’ve got healing potions on hand, Tommy’ll be okay.”

The fox hybrid nodded, still frowning as he watched.

“Aw, looks like you do have compassion in that little heart of yours.” Puffy cooed. Fundy’s cheeks instantly went red.

“S-Shut up!” He hissed.

Tubbo finished rifling through the cupboards, finally turning back with a glowing bottle in hand. Wordlessly he handed it to Wilbur and helped Tommy sit up. The youngest was silent as he slowly swallowed, making a face at the taste which the others couldn’t help but smile at.

With a damp cloth, Wilbur slowly began to wipe the blood from Tommy’s face. The young boy didn’t say a word, merely leaning into his brother’s touch. Wilbur smiled softly, looking down at him like he was the whole world and more.

Tommy shifted uncomfortably, trying to hold back the bile he felt rising.

“Feels like we’re intruding on something personal…” Ranboo murmured.

The screen had changed, now showing a sleeping Tommy in the tent. His face was relaxed, chest rising and falling slowly as he rested his bandaged head. Just outside the tent, Wilbur stood, staring at the stars with an expression that was hard to read.

“He’s fine, Wil.”

Wilbur looked back at the voice, meeting eyes with Eret. He frowned, swallowing thickly. “But how long until he’s not?”

The other said nothing, merely taking a step forward. Wil looked back out to the stars.

“What happens when he’s not? I mean, war is coming, Eret, and I couldn’t even keep him safe from a box nevermind the server admin and his goons…” He trailed off, looking down at the ground, “What happens when he’s not okay and it’s my fault?”

Tommy felt sick watching, but in some sick twisted way he wanted to laugh. It was as if his brother had predicted the future. He wasn’t okay, he was nowhere near okay.

Tommy was not okay, and yes, some of it, if not all of it, was Wilbur’s fault.

The others watched with fascination, not used to the softer side of the ex-president.

Eret sighed, running a hand through her hair. It was hard to gage how she was feeling with the glasses on.

“If that happens,” she began, “and I mean if; you do what you can.”

Wilbur turned to glare at her, as though she’d said the most useless thing ever, and in a way she had. Her air of nonchalance was especially off putting.

“No one cares about Tommy more than you, Wilbur. You’re the closest thing he’s ever had to a father.”

Tommy could feel Phil’s eyes drilling holes in the back of his head. He chose not to turn and face his father.

“You’d do anything to protect him, and I know you’ll do the right thing.”

Tommy couldn’t help but laugh there. It bubbled up in his throat and escaped him without his consent. It wasn’t a particularly nice laugh, it was crude and bitter, but it was one of the first times he’d laughed in a non-hysterical sense in a very long time.

Ironic, it was, seeing the two traitors speaking to each other and reassuring one another. Eret’s treachery may have been of sound mind, but sometimes Tommy wonders if that made it the worse of the two.

How funny it was seeing Eret so confidently announce that Wilbur would do the right thing when he’d done the exact opposite.

“Something funny, Tommy?” Technoblade asked, a brow raised in an unimpressed matter. It seems his laugh had ticked off the majority of the room. He didn’t even bother hiding his scowl at the bunch.

“No no, it’s nothing.” He replied, trying to keep his cool.

Both Tubbo and Ranboo seemed to be growing anxious at the confrontation, both frowning and leaning in closer to each other.

“No by all means go ahead Tommy,” Phil began, and instantly the room turned cold at his tone, “tell us what you found funny.”

The young blonde seized up, trying to hide his reaction. His father looked furious, though that would be somewhat expected of having to watch your least favourite son laugh at the son you’d had to kill spilling his heart out.

“Was it when Wilbur smiled at you like you were the sun?” Phil asked, glaring harshly, “Or when he nearly cried because you got hurt? Or in the letters he sent me telling me how proud he was of you?”

Shut up, Tommy’s heart thrummed in his chest, palms growing sweaty.

“Do you know how much he did for you, Tommy?”

Shut Up, his breaths were becoming quicker, memories of Wilbur’s fists and words pointed like swords swirling around in his brain.

“He loved you so much, Tommy!”

Shut. Up. He brought his hands to his head, trying to cover up his distress and calm himself.

“He thought the world of you!”

Shut. Up. Shut. Up. Shut. Up. Shut. Up. His eyes grew wide, swallowing back tears as a menacing face he once used to trust so dearly laughed at him.

“And you don’t even want to bring him back-”

"SHUT UP!" Almost everyone flinched at the shriek, not having seen it coming. Many of them looked to each other in confusion, not sure how to react. Tommy was breathing heavy, grateful that the poor lighting in the room made it harder for anyone to see the tears building in his eyes.

There was a suffocating silence in the room, and you could’ve heard a pin drop.

“Tommy?” Quackity began, “Is this… Is that true?”

The boy in question looked up, and saw everyone’s faces, staring at them like they couldn’t believe it.

“The only reason we kept Dream alive was because we wanted- you wanted Wilbur back… and now you, what? You just don’t? Just like that?” Quackity sounded so hurt; so upset with him, and he wanted to cry even more.

It wasn’t just like that. He’d spent months in the void, quickly realizing that his little pipe dream of bringing back his Wilbur were mere fantasy.

He wanted to explain, but instead he remained silent.

“Unbelievable,” The duck hybrid laughed, shaking his head.

Tommy felt his heart drop, and he wished that word alone hadn’t hurt as much as it did, but Quackity was one of the few people he had left on the server. He dug his nails into his palms once more, and they found their grooves, accustomed to the wear and tear.

“No no no,” Jack began, shaking his head, “it’s perfectly believable, actually. Leave it to Tommy, the most selfish person on the server, to expect us to do whatever he wants! To change his ideas and opinions on a whim and leave us trying to accommodate his stupid childish needs!”

Tommy paused for a moment, taking in the others reactions and trying not to feel so hurt by the fact that most of them looked like they agreed, before staring at Jack.

“Fuck you man.” He whispered, huffing out a sad, dragged out laugh.

No one was quite sure what to say after that.

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