pre-festival hurt.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: manipulation, disordered eating & i think that's it!

HEYYYYYYY!!!!! new chap already hopefully the next one will be this quick too

read tws!!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Niki was, in all honesty, at her fucking limit. She’d spent the last few memories in a sort of haze, pleading with any higher being listening that it was all some sick dream. Every time the Wilbur onscreen spoke or acted, it felt like pieces of her were crumbling. She’d built herself around the image of Wilbur Soot. He was one of the few who never spoke over her, who made her feel heard.

She couldn’t stand to watch him do such wretched things.

The Wilbur she’d known, or at least thought she’d known, would have never done anything even similar to what she had seen. He wouldn’t. It just didn’t make sense.

Niki had built her beliefs, her priorities, everything on the man she thought Wilbur was. He had inspired her to take a stand, to make herself seen. She had wanted to forever extend his legacy, to praise his name, because he was the only one who ever truly understood her.

Seeing him act out, she didn’t know how to process it.

Memories of picnics under the L’Mantree, of baking cakes for Fundy’s birthday, of everything really, came flooding back, as though she’d repressed them all, and only been able to remember L’Manberg under Schlatt’s regime.

She wondered if there had been signs she’d missed. Signs of Wilbur cracking, of a mental state already degraded. Could she be to blame? Could Fundy, Tubbo, Jack? Was it their fault for not noticing something was wrong with Wilbur.

Without even really trying to, her mind drifted to Tommy, and she wondered if he had seen anything. He was the boy who spent the most time with Wilbur, did he just not care? Or was it that he loved his big brother too much to see red flags?

Despite her rage and distaste for him, Niki would never blame him for what had happened to him between those walls. He was a kid. It wasn’t his fault.

But that didn’t stop her from wondering if Tommy had made things worse by purposely acting out, by being rude and loud. Would things have gone better if Wilbur had chosen someone actually adequate? Would he perhaps have shouldered less of a burden if Tommy had been able to take things seriously?

Niki felt for the boy, she did, but she didn’t want to pin everything on Wilbur either. The man had clearly been facing an uphill battle within his own mind that none of them would ever know.

She didn’t want to paint him as a villain… he wasn’t. He was hurting and sick and had needed help.

But… maybe she was starting to realize Tommy hadn’t been the cause of Wilbur’s descent. Maybe she was starting to realize that Tommy hadn’t ‘taken’ Wilbur from her like she’d thought.

Don’t get her wrong, she still loathed the kid. He was rude and annoying and took and took and took without asking, but she could no longer pin the blame of losing Wilbur on him.

It was fucked up what Wilbur had done, and while he had needed help, Niki was finally starting to see that Tommy should never have been expected to be the one to get him that help.

She’d been done trying to kill Tommy for a while, and though she was still angry, still didn’t like him, she felt like she owed an apology for the things she’d said about the prior memories including him and Wilbur.

Tommy didn’t care about her, that much was obvious (he didn’t care about anyone but himself), but it was okay because she didn’t care about him either. The apology she owed was to clear her own conscience, not alleviate him of anything.

Rows ahead of her, Tubbo and Ranboo were whispering quietly to themselves, both looking thoroughly disturbed. Ranboo’s tail was flicking around nervously, brows drawn together, and Tubbo looked furious.

“I just… how much more is there that I didn’t know?” Tubbo ran a hand through his hair, frowning deeply.

“It’s not your fault Tubbo.” Ranboo hummed, gripping onto his husband's hand for dear life.

“No no I know,” Tubbo shook his head, laughing slightly, “I know don’t worry…” he went quiet, pursing his lips, “but why didn’t he tell me? Does he not trust me?”

Ranboo looked stricken. He opened his mouth to reply, but was stopped by the screen flickering back to life.

“We’ll talk later.” He assured, giving Tubbo’s hand a squeeze as they both braced themselves for whatever it was they were going to see next.

Tommy knocked apprehensively at the wooden door before him. He stood in one of the side corridors, torches dimly lighting the area, waiting in front of a room closed off.

“Wil?” He called, grabbing the knob, “I’m coming in.”

He gently pushed the door open, taking a hesitant step inside, and felt his heart drop. His older brother was sitting at his desk, fingers massaging his temples roughly as he stared holes into the papers below him. His cheeks were sunken in, eyes dull and lifeless. He looked too much like a corpse.

“I’m busy, Tommy.” Wilbur muttered, eyes never leaving the papers. Tommy’s brows drew together, frowning deeply.

“Did you eat anything today?” Tommy asked, taking another step closer towards the man.

“Busy.” Wilbur answered, short and clipped, and Tommy looked as though the answer physically pained him.

The room itself was a mess. Bed unmade and sheets covered in spots of blood and grime. There were clothes and papers on the floor, as well as a shattered picture frame facedown.

“Wil please,” Tommy tried, “You need to eat. Just a bit.”

Phil felt his heart break in two, watching his youngest care for his older brother. The guilt he’d been feeling of only showing up on the server once Wilbur was beyond salvation seemed to grow tenfold at the sight.

He took a sharp breath, tears pricking at his eyes. He should have been there. He should have been there to take care of his son. He should have been there, not Tommy.

It wasn’t fair for the teen to put that burden on his shoulders.

Wilbur laughed, rolling his eyes as he scribbled something down on the edge of one of the papers. His fingerless gloves made an odd sort of swiping sound as they brushed against the parchment, and his fingers were black with soot and ash.

“Tommy I’m fi-”

“No. You’re not.” Tommy interrupted, staring holes into the back of his older brother’s head because Wilbur wouldn’t look at him. “I- know how you barely eat, barely sleep. H-how when you do sleep it’s after crying- Wil I can hear you crying at night…”

Technoblade knew exactly what Tommy was talking about. Sometimes late at night he still heard Wilbur’s cries, echoing off the stone walls of the ravine, forever trapped in the wretched place. It had broken a piece of him; hearing his twin cry out at night. There were a couple times he’d tried to reach out, offered to sleep in Wil’s room or keep watch while he slept, but Wilbur always grew upset at the attempts, lashing out and saying things they both knew he never really meant.

It still hurt however, and Techno found himself spending more and more nights out searching for materials, trying to escape the screams.

There was silence, Wilbur still looking down as Tommy continued to stare at him pointedly, the younger’s face pinched painfully as though he was trying to keep himself together.

“Please let me help you Wil.” Tommy urged, eyes pleading and desperate. Wilbur didn’t answer for a moment, hunched in place at the desk and eyes narrowed. He was arguing with himself it seemed, lips mouthing words he was no doubt thinking.

With a large sigh he let his pen drop to the desk, swivelling in his chair and levelling Tommy with a blank gaze.

“What makes you think I want your help?” He demanded, blinking tiredly. The bags under his eyes had grown somewhat worse.

Niki felt her heart lurch at the sight. It felt so cruel to be shown memories of her best friend in such a state when he was already dead; like she was being taunted.

“You keep snapping at Techno ‘cause you’re scared,” Tommy said, head tilted as he took a tentative step forward, “you won’t reach out to anyone ‘cause you’re scared of them leaving.”

He closed the gap between them, staring Wilbur in his eyes.

“I won’t ever leave you Wil.” He announced, a fire burning in his eyes. It was so evident that he was beyond determined to keep the promise. “You can let me help you. I will never leave. I promise.”

Tubbo wanted to scream. He wanted to cry out to his friend to run and never look back. It felt painful to watch knowing he could do nothing.

Wilbur stared at him for a moment, face completely unreadable, before surging forward, wrapping Tommy in a tight hug before the younger could even blink, holding him close. Tommy let out a startled gasp, rearing back slightly, but quickly reciprocated, enclosing his older brother in his arms. He didn’t speak as he felt Wilbur’s shoulders begin to shake, nor when he felt little droplets landing on the back of his tee.

“I’m so sorry,” Wilbur whispered, voice hoarse, “you don’t deserve this.”

“I love you Wil.” Was all Tommy replied, burying his face in the older’s chest, “M not going anywhere.”

The screen faded to black.

“Oh Tommy…” Puffy sniffled, feeling her heart twist at the sight.

“This is just fucking awful…” Fundy muttered, “What are we… Like what are we gaining from this? Other than y’know, nightmare fuel.”

No one had an answer for him, but they were all somewhat wondering the same thing, save for a certain couple.

Ranboo couldn’t help but be slightly relieved at the situation at hand, despite how terrible that sounded. Don’t mistake what he was trying to say; he was truly horrified for Tommy, and wished so so badly that the boy hadn’t had to relive the things he did, but a small part of him felt that something akin to what they were doing had been needed for quite some time.

He was just worried about Tommy. His friend was so widely despised, so hated, and it seemed he never actively tried to combat it. He just… let people hate him. And it always ended badly. Ranboo knew for a fact that there were three separate groups of people ‘keeping an eye’ on Tommy at the moment, and couldn’t help the exasperation that came with the knowledge.

He and Tubbo had already lost Tommy once, they weren’t anywhere near open to going through it again.

But Tommy wouldn’t listen. He didn’t tell people what had happened to him. For god’s sake even Ranboo himself was convinced he only knew a sliver of what Tommy had been through, and he knew he was one of the people who knew the most about the blond’s past. It didn’t sit right with him at all.

And of course, Tubbo had a tendency to lie about his past. Ranboo still had no idea of the origin of his scars, and not a clue how he’d lost his second life, but it was… different. Tubbo was… well… no offense to Tommy but Tubbo was loved. Maybe not completely universally, but close. The server saw him as a kind kid. They liked him. And while they greatly misinterpreted who Tubbo was as a person, it was better for them to assume the ram hybrid was some innocent sensitive bystander incapable of hurting a fly than for them to assume he was a heartless villain deserving of death like they did Tommy.

So, while Ranboo was extremely discouraged it had come to something so… drastic. He couldn’t help but somewhat agree with the godly being behind it all. The people on the server needed to see what Tommy had been through or the boy wouldn’t make it to his eighteenth birthday.

It was wrong… but somehow it had reached a point where it felt necessary.

The screen displayed a forest just outside of Manberg. It was dark and growing darker, the sun almost having completely set.

Wilbur and Tommy trudged through the woods wordlessly, both seemingly deflated and discouraged. The blond had a bow clenched tightly in his hands and a sack of arrows slung across his shoulders.

They marched past a creek in silence, Tommy taking a moment to stare at the frogs and lilies. Their boots made soft sounds on the grassy ground of the forested area, and occasionally you could hear the sound of a twig snapping or an animal racing through the bushes.

Sam had been picking up on how much Tommy adored wildlife, and it made him smile sadly. The boy loved to play with bugs and, sometimes, talk to them (which he thought was a bit weird but whatever). He loved to simply stare at mobs in awe, as if each time was his very first time seeing them. It was unbelievably endearing, but also a bit of a hassle when they’d been building the hotel, as Tommy would get distracted very easily if even one ant somehow found its way into his line of sight.

Wilbur stopped in his tracks, face shadowed over as he turned to look at Tommy. The younger looked tired but still intrigued.

“Tommy I have a question for you.” Wilbur said, looking conflicted.

“Yeah?”

“This… Schlatt’s festival, yeah? It doesn’t seem like a bad- like a bad idea. It doesn’t seem evil, y’know?” The older man’s voice had gone a tad higher, something it often did when he was anxious. Tommy eyed his brother, taking in the hunch in his shoulders and the uncertainty in his tone. He furrowed his brow.

“...Yeah?”

“Tommy are we the bad guys?”

“Asked the war criminal.” Quackity snickered, earning a slap to the shoulder by Karl.

Suddenly the background noise around them seemed much louder as they stared at one another. The frogs in the creek croaked loudly, echoing throughout the night, and the wind howled in their ears. Tommy didn’t know what to say to that, only staring blankly.

“Schlatt…” Wilbur anxiously cracked his knuckles, eyes flitting from side to side, “I mean he won the election fair and square… It was completely legal… And now we’re trying to overthrow him.”

Tommy still said nothing.

“Tommy am I a villain in this story? Am I the villain in your history?” Wilbur pressed, that time silently demanding an answer from the boy. There was no verbal threat, nor hints at a physical one in any way, but somehow Tommy knew he had to answer.

“No.” The blond said simply, not offering anything else. Wilbur quirked a brow at him.

“Why not?”

Tommy sighed, running a hand through his hair, a habit he’d picked up from Wilbur himself. “Cause we started L’Manberg…” He blinked a couple times, pausing as if to only then fully take into account his brother’s words, “and we should’ve won that vote.”

“We allowed the coalition, Tommy.” Wilbur chimed in unhelpfully, “Our arrogance and our cockiness got in the way.”

Tommy scowled at that, as if growing frustrated. It was even darker by then, and the moonlight was casting Wilbur’s shadow over Tommy.

Ranboo didn’t like the way Wilbur was asking Tommy those things, as if it were up to him to decide. Tommy shouldn’t’ve had to be debating whether his big brother who he’d loyally follow into death was a villain. It just didn’t feel right.

“Tommy I… I really do think we’re the villains.” Wilbur gave an incredulous laugh. His long coat flapped in the wind, hands shoved into his pockets to keep them from the cold.

Tommy didn’t say anything… which was odd. He was normally very talkative and well, Tommyish, but there seemed to be none of that then. He was just… staring at Wilbur. His nose and cheeks were rosy in the cold.

Karl didn’t like how quiet Tommy was being. He didn’t know the kid well, they hadn’t gotten much time to ever talk, but he knew for a fact Tommy was loud and opinionated and always spoke his mind. The version of himself on screen was… concerning.

Wilbur let out a sigh at the silence, rubbing his face. He flexed out his hands, grinning slightly. “You and me, we’re both in the right? Right?” He licked his lips, “We’re in the right here, aren’t we?”

The blond shuffled awkwardly. He sniffled obnoxiously, swiping at his nose with his sleeve before shrugging. “I mean I’m always in the right.”

“Classy.” Techno snorted.

Wilbur didn’t waste a moment, grin growing even wider as his eyes seemed to grow less warm. He spread his arms out wide, face alight with something that screamed danger. He chuckled darkly.

“Then let’s be the bad guys.”

Many of them seemed to grow surprised at that, especially the ones who’d never known him.

“I thought his whole schtick was being the good guy?”

“ Shhhhh!”

Tommy just looked at him. Stared with that stupid look on his face. It was beginning to piss him off.

“Tommy,” He began, “think about it. Why not? I mean, our nation’s gone. Our nation is far behind us, Tommy.”

The younger finally reacted, though it wasn’t what he was hoping for. Tommy seemed to grow weary at his words, looking a bit repulsed. He didn’t bother with the kid’s feelings.

“Let’s blow that motherfucker to smithereens!” He laughed, exclaiming loudly.

Tommy remained quiet for a moment, staring his brother up and down.

“Wil…” He started, uncertain, “are you feeling okay?”

It seemed that wasn’t the right thing to say, as Wilbur grew angry at the accusation that he was acting anywhere outside of sound mind. He grit his teeth, taking a step forward.

“Tommy I say, if we can’t have Manberg. No one, NO ONE! can have Manberg!”

The loud cry sent many of them rearing back into their seats. Wilbur was not acting anywhere near sane in that moment. It was beyond disheartening seeing the unknown side of a man they’d regarded as a hero. Even after an act so malicious, most still saw him as the man who had started a fight for freedom. Most people had respected him greatly.

“Wilbur no,” Tommy tried, “I think we can do it! We can get it back!” He tried to reason.

“No no no no,” Wilbur shook his head, laughing, “this is a new era. I want to burn that place to the ground, Tommy. I want no crops to grow there ever again. I want it all gone! ”

It was… oddly terrifying, seeing the former president of L’Manberg so ruined by it that he talked about it in that manner. Fundy felt sick to his stomach as he watched. L’Manberg had been their home. Even with it being a crater by then, the topic was still a sore spot for most.

Tommy, who had been growing more disturbed the longer his brother went on, stomped his foot on the ground as he took a step forward. “Wil-”

“Tommy let’s be villains!” Wilbur smiled wide, looking gleeful.

It was… concerning, to say the least. For most of them, well, all of them really, they’d never once expected to see Wilbur Soot, renowned hero, actively embracing the role of the villain.

“Oh Wil…” Phil shook his head sadly. Why hadn’t he been there? Why hadn’t he noticed something was amiss in his son’s letters? He’d always loved hearing what his boy had to say. Wil would tell him of Tommy. Of how their little guy had sprouted up, almost rivalling his own impressive 6’5. He’d wanted to be there, and promised himself one day he would, but by the time he’d realized something was amiss… well it was already too late.

It was too late for their family.

The scene quickly changed to the two standing in the cramped walls of Pogtopia, continuing their conversation. Tommy was following after Wilbur hurriedly, trying to reason with the man as he went on his tirade.

“Wilbur it’s not too far gone! There’s a reason we fought so hard for it! We can rebuild, bring it back to its former glory!”

Wilbur stopped, suddenly whirling around to stare down the boy. Tommy had to pretend he didn’t take a step back.

“You’re being reckless.” The blond stated.

“What so he knew Wilbur wanted to blow the place up and didn’t do shit?” Jack asked, glaring angrily at the screen. “He could’ve stopped him!”

“Why didn’t he tell us?” Niki frowned, “I thought we were all on one team that day.”

Tension seemed to be growing in the room, many people growing upset with the new information.

“Hey man shut the fuck up,” Quackity interjected, shaking his head, “Tommy and I both knew. We both knew and we… we thought we’d talked him out of it….” He bowed his head in shame, “We knew he rigged the place but… we thought he wouldn’t do it.”

“That means nothing!” Fundy cried, “Wil died becaus-” He shut his mouth instantly, eyes going wide. The temperature in the room dropped instantly, and many people grew wary.

“What was that?” Quackity demanded, looking scarily calm.

“I…” The fox hybrid took a deep breath, “If you two had stopped him then- then he might’ve still been here but you underestimated him and now he’s d- ”

“Fundy!” Phil cried, affronted. “We aren’t blaming anyone for what happened that day,” He scolded, “don’t pin this on Quackity.”

Fundy’s ears pinned back, looking ashamed, and Phil felt slightly bad for the tone he’d used.

“Look man,” The duck hybrid let out a shaky laugh, “If Tommy and I had thought there was even a chance that day would’ve ended with Wilbur dying we would have done something. We didn’t see it coming.”

There was a mournful silence.

“I think that’s enough.” Puffy frowned, “No one’s to blame, okay? Let’s just… let’s keep watching, yeah?”

As the others settled back down, Puffy leaned back into her seat, letting out a sigh. She thanked every god she could imagine that Tommy hadn’t been in the room for that brief altercation. The last thing that boy needed was to be told he was responsible for Wilbur’s actions. Even if Fundy’s anger was justified and coming from a place of hurt, his words solved nothing, and she doubted they gave even him any sort of solace.

A deep, mirthy laugh bubbled in Wilbur’s throat. He bowed his head, grinning darkly as the shadows covered his face. When he looked up, he bore the eyes of a stranger, and Tommy took a startled step back.

“I know why you’re doing this, Tommy.” He smiled wide, folding his hands behind his back and taking a step forward. His boots echoed in the large empty space. Techno was gone, off somewhere neither of them bothered themselves to ever learn. The dusty jagged walls of Pogtopia seemed to be closing in. “I know… I see it in your eyes, I can hear it in your voice!”

Tommy tensed, eyes going wide as his brother’s tone became more menacing. His shoulders hiked up, heart beating quicker.

In that moment there was no Schlatt, nor was there Dream. There were no villains for miles…

And yet Tommy was the most scared he’d ever been.

Puffy fucking hated it. She absolutely abhorred the fear Wilbur made Tommy feel. Her heart went out to the man in so many different ways, and she knew he had needed help, but first and foremost came the fact that he was harming others. She couldn’t stand to see the way his behaviour and demeanor affected Tommy.

“Tommyinnit you’re scared.” Wilbur declared gleefully, voice dripping with honey. Tommy swallowed thickly, eyes flicking down to the ground as though he was ashamed.

“Tommyinnit you’re scared that people are going to think differently of you, Tommy,” The taller man took two steps in the boy’s direction till they were lined at the hip, Tommy staring forwards down into the tunnel that lead to L’Manberg, and Wilbur entranced by the shadowed corners of the end of their tunnel. “When I said you’re never going to be president, you’ve gotta understand! That wasn’t- that wasn’t a challenge, that’s true.”

He put a firm hand on Tommy’s shoulder, not looking at him, but bringing himself close enough to whisper into the boy’s ear. “ You’re never gonna be president, Tommy.”

Sapnap let out a low uncomfortable breath, squirming in his seat. The whole thing felt undeniably wrong. He had the uncontrollable urge to get Wilbur away from Tommy, but he could do nothing.

The blond’s breath hitched, trying to remain calm. The torches in the hall seemed to waver, their flames growing smaller. Despite the fact that it had been uttered so quietly to Tommy, he swore he could hear it echoing off the walls.

“And I can hear it in your voice, you’re trying to sound like you know what you’re doing.” Wilbur’s grin widened. He turned, grabbing Tommy’s face with his hand and manually turning it so that their gazes were interlocked. His eyes were crazed and cold, no semblance of Wilbur anywhere in them as they bore straight ahead, mangling the terrified blue eyes of his younger brother.

“Tommy,” He smiled breathlessly, gripping the boy’s chin tight, “None of us know what we’re doing.”

With that he pushed Tommy back, the latter stumbling on his feet, and whirled around, spreading his arms out and reaching his fingers up to the ceiling meters above. He turned again, staring Tommy down. The grin never left his face.

“We’re fucked. We were fucked the minute we were thrown out!” He hissed.

Tommy took a moment to regain his balance, shrinking in on himself. Wilbur began to pace back and forth, an unusual amount of jovial light in his eyes, though it felt sinister.

Jack tried to ignore the sort of anger bubbling within him. It was a conscious battle with his own mind. He didn’t fucking care about what was happening to Tommy, he didn’t.

His brain just hadn’t gotten the memo.

“Schlatt’s a smart man. He knows that if we fight him, even if we beat him, we’ve lost. Tommy there’s no in between, he knows we’ve lost.” His voice almost wavered for just a moment before returning to its grandiose, “But you know what?”

He snaked forwards, curling himself around Tommy and standing behind him, placing two firm hands on the boy’s shoulders, ignoring the way they shook. Tommy grit his teeth, clenching his fists and staring at the ground.

“At times like this, when a man has nothing to lose do you know what that means?” He cooed, not missing the way that Tommy seemed to be completely frozen in his grip.

“... What does it mean?” Tommy practically whispered.

Wilbur laughed once more, manually turning the boy around so they were face to face. He grinned wide. “It means we can do what we want.”

“We have a man on our side who literally rigged our nation with TNT. We can do the same to them,” Wilbur’s eyes lit up at that, glazing over, “we can rig this festival with TNT… we can kill them all, Tommy!”

Everyone felt thoroughly disturbed at that. No one had a single clue they could’ve all died at that festival, and suddenly hearing about it almost felt like they had narrowly escaped a terrible fate. Wilbur had completely lost himself.

Tommy’s eyes widened as he wrenched himself out of Wilbur’s vice-like grip, stumbling backwards. Somehow, when he wasn’t paying attention, the flames had grown, roaring with contempt as though they were cheering Wilbur on. The walls felt as though they would crush him alive.

“No… no,” He shook his head, horrified, “no-”

Wilbur laughed, throwing his head back before levelling his brother with a stare. “Tommy have you not noticed?” He gleamed, “Everyone who’s claiming to be on our side, they’re lying to us!”

“ No!” Tommy hissed, pulling at his hair.

“Tubbo?” Wilbur tilted his head, revelling in the way Tommy seized up at the mere mention of the name,

Tubbo went still.

“he’s lying to you man! He would drop-”

“No.”

“-us at the second he realizes we’re not in the lead anymore-”

“ Stop it!” Tommy cried, shoving Wilbur back. The man fell flat onto the ground, never losing his smile as he stared up at Tommy. The silence between them was suffocating as the blond panted, eyes wide and watery. He swallowed thickly, looking down.

Tubbo had to hold onto his husband's hand for dear life, breaths coming out in short gasps of rage. His chest felt tight, as if he was unable to breathe properly. Why had Wilbur said that?

Had… Had Tommy believed him?

Tommy seemed to believe every little thing his big brother said, and Tubbo suddenly felt very sick at the thought of Tommy being made to think Tubbo didn’t care about him.

He could never not care about Tommy.

“Wilbur you’re being reckless.” He sighed, “You’re not being the man that came in as president, alright?”

Wilbur said nothing, staring.

“This isn’t the right thing to do, this isn’t the moral thing to do.” Tommy hugged his arms to his chest, looking exhausted, “what’s the point in doing anything if you’ve lost all hope?” He asked quietly.

“Mhm cause Tommy always does the moral thing…” Techno snarked. Jack laughed lightly.

It was… harder to make jokes belittling Tommy, but it wasn’t impossible. It didn’t feel wrong by any means, but for some reason it did weigh heavy in their minds.

Whatever, the feeling would pass. They were just pitying the pathetic kid. It would go away.

Wilbur still didn’t reply.

“You’ve gotta stay with it,” Tommy murmured, “You’ve gotta pull yourself together.”

Wilbur looked down finally, smiling at the ground. He sniffed, “I-”

“If you think this is the right thing to do… if you believe that… that rigging- not lighting , but rigging the place with TNT will give us the upperhand,” Tommy interrupted, not continuing until he had Wilbur’s full attention, “then I will follow you.”

The screen went dark, fading as the two stared at each other.

“He didn’t tell anyone.” Niki hissed, looking heated, “we could have all died and he didn’t tell anyone!”

“He told me.” Tubbo interjected, garnering everyone’s attention. “Wilbur, I mean. Not Tommy, but he would have if Wilbur hadn’t.”

“And?” George pressed.

“And I went along with it.” The ram hybrid muttered quietly, “I was… I was in on it.”

“Why?” Jack whispered. Tubbo smiled sadly at him.

“I’m just Wilbur’s yes-man, right? I just…” He paused, looking down at his scarred hands, “actually it doesn’t matter,” he muttered, “we all know how the festival went. There’s no point in talking about what-ifs.”

Everyone seemed content at that, except for a very confused Ranboo and Puffy.

Secretly Puffy was eternally grateful towards Tubbo for shifting the attention to himself, though another part of her wished he hadn’t. Niki and the others had sounded so upset with Tommy for not telling anyone, for following Wilbur. How did they not realize the boy was terrified of acting against his older brother?

The lapsed into silence, the screen starting back up.

“Wilbur please,” Tommy pleaded, chasing after his brother. They were just outside the above ground entrance to Pogtopia, Wilbur striding forward towards the door, “you have to eat something.”

The skies were grey, cloudy and dreary. The dismal weather had Tommy shivering, jacket forgotten inside. The wind was picking up, making loud whooshing noises as it swept through the large trees around them.

Wilbur stopped, but didn’t turn around, keeping his hand on the doorknob. “I’ll eat when we win, Tommy.” He muttered, “I’m too busy right now.”

Tommy swallowed thickly, reaching out his arm, but the door slammed in his face, and he was left standing alone. He sighed, hugging himself tightly. For some reason he couldn’t force himself to follow past the door.

Phil sighed, feeling like his heart was being torn in two. He hated having to see Tommy deal with those things, but more than anything he hated seeing the wreck Wilbur had become. He hated seeing how ruined his son was. How bad things had gotten.

He sat on the grass wordlessly, feeling the cold through his clothes and running a hand through his messy hair. Small droplets began to fall sporadically. They were sparse and numbered, but he stuck his hand out all the same, letting the few that did fall hit his open palm.

He looked up to the skies, frowning still, as Wilbur’s words echoed in his mind, reminding him of a time when things were better. He closed his eyes, laying down on the grass and practically melting into it.

There it was again. The disgusting feeling that crept into all of their hearts when they saw how comfortable Tommy was with the ground. He laid like his body had been built to be buried. He laid like he had been born to die.

“Tommy please,” A teenage Wilbur begged, face pinched with both desperation and concern, “you have to eat.” He said, sitting at the kitchen table in their little cottage. Six-year old Tommy was seated across from him, eyes barely even making it over the top.

The inside of their home was cozy, decorated head to toe in little figurines and with silly little signs that said things like ‘Bless This Mess’ and such. Photographs lined almost every other empty space, both on the walls and on any surface the frames would fit. In them were pictures of mostly Techno, Wilbur and Tommy, though Phil made an occasional appearance in the more formal photos. Near the front door there were four hooks. On one of them was a large grey coat, fuzzy and worn down. On the second was a little red raincoat paired with a duck hat and yellow duck rain boots on the floor beneath them. The other two hooks were bare.

Phil couldn’t help but smile at the sigh, tears pricking in his vision. He saw Techno’s ear twitch and though it was no ‘big’ reaction, he knew the other was affected as well.

He wished so badly he could have stuck around. He wished so badly he could have watched Tommy grow up in that house.

“Remember when Tommy wanted an excuse to use his new rain gear and he nearly flooded the house?” Techno smirked.

Phil laughed loudly. How could he have forgotten? Their wooden floors had been forever warped since that day.

“No!” Tommy cried, tears building in his eyes as he shook his head stubbornly, “M’ not eating until dad and Technoblade come home!”

Phil’s heart stopped, and he felt Techno stiffen beside him. Attention in the room seemed to draw to them.

It was raining outside.

Wilbur sighed, putting his head in his hands. He removed his glasses, rubbing at his eyes. Before them on the table was an assortment of fruits and snacks, but they looked untouched.

“They’re not coming home, Tommy,” Wilbur tried, sadly, “I- I can’t keep telling you they are, I just can’t…”

Phil nearly broke into tears right there. His son sounded so defeated. Every time he asked Wilbur it was always ‘no no Tommy’s easy when you aren’t around’ and ‘don’t worry I’ve got it covered’, but suddenly he felt very, very sick.

For fuck’s sake Tommy was six and refusing to eat in the hopes that his hunger strike would bring back the other half of his family.

Tommy sucked in a large breath at that, eyes going wide as his face went red. He was pouting, tears ready to spill at any moment. He kicked the table leg, letting out a low whine as he banged his fists on the table.

“I want dad and Technoblade!” He demanded, legs kicking restlessly beneath him.

“Tommy plea-”

“No!”

A small piece of Wilbur seemed to break at that, and he promptly burst into tears, burying his face in his arms as he sobbed into the table. His shoulders shook as he cried, not even trying to hide it from the younger boy. He was just so Tired.

Niki wanted to cry, seeing her deceased best friend as a mere child, raising his kid brother on his own. It hurt so badly that she couldn’t comfort him even now. There was no ‘sorry you had to go through that’ because he was dead. He was dead.

Tommy stopped, mid tantrum, to stare at his big brother worriedly. His face creased with concern and worry, not used to ever seeing his brother cry, especially like that. If he ever did it was because Techno stole his toys or he didn’t want to do the dishes, this was different.

He watched Wilbur cry for a few moments, his own tears drying from his eyes, before silently reaching out and grabbing a sliced strawberry from the plate in front of him and popping it into his mouth. Then again.

They continued like that for a few minutes; Wilbur facedown crying into the lace tablecloth and Tommy quietly eating the fruit from his plate.

Eventually Wilbur’s cries quieted, save for a few sniffles, and red rimmed eyes peeked out from the crook of his elbow. When he saw Tommy’s plate almost half-empty he smiled sadly.

Wordlessly, he stood, making his way to the other end of the table and kneeling by Tommy’s chair. He grabbed the child, clutching him tight to his chest and burying his face in the blond hair. Tommy was quietly trying to grab a grape just out of his reach.

“I love you so much.” Wilbur mumbled, voice muffled. Tommy grinned, pausing his attempts at grabbing the fruit to hug his brother back happily.

“I love you too Wilby!” He laughed.

Puffy had to refrain from audibly cooing at the sight. It was unbelievably saddening but Tommy was so cute. Her heart nearly broke in two watching the young Wilbur cry into the table. No kid should ever be left alone like that.

“...Why weren’t you there?” Tubbo whispered, looking down at the ground.

Phil didn’t seem surprised by the question, only smiling sadly. He gripped the fabric of his clothes tight, knuckles turning white. “I wanted to be, I swear.”

“Then why weren’t you?” Tubbo pressed, turning around to face the man, “they needed you, Phil.”

The winged man wanted to cry, heart lodged in his throat. He opened his mouth to reply, but was stopped by another voice.

“It was my fault.” Techno muttered, eyes downcast. He seemed oddly ashamed. Phil instantly turned to his son, shaking his head.

“Tech it wasn’t your fault,” He disagreed, “you couldn’t control them you-”

“I almost killed Tommy, Phil.” The piglin hybrid hissed, voice dripping with venom. His large hands were balled into fists. “You should have let me go alone.”

“And if something had happened to you?” Phil whispered, “I wouldn’t’ve been able to live with myself.”

Techno laughed lowly. “Can you live with yourself after seeing that?” He gestured to the screen. His father placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I made my choice.” He said simply, “that’s a burden for me to bear alone. You had no part in it.”

Technoblade managed a laugh, though it was defeated. He sent a glare to their audience, and they all reared back.

Alright, there was definitely something more, that was for sure. However none of them had the guts to ask what their past choices had entailed. It felt… rude. Phil was already going through a lot, and for all they knew it could be shown in an upcoming memory.

They let it go, for the time being.

“-mmy!”

“-ommy!”

Tommy’s eyes snapped open before quickly closing once more to keep the water out of them. He raised his forearm over them to shield himself from the onslaught above, opening his eyes once more and blinking blearily.

He was outside in the rain, soaked to the bone, laying in the grass. Wilbur was nudging him in the ribs with the toe of his boot, hands shoved into the pockets of his trenchcoat, looking down with a monotone expression.

Tubbo felt his chest swell with anger, though not directed at Tommy or even Wilbur. It just… it hurt him seeing his best friend lying in the cold like that. He didn’t know how to process what he was feeling but he was pissed off.

“What the hell are you doing in the rain?” Wilbur asked, quirking a brow.

“I fell asleep.” Was all Tommy could answer, still disoriented and voice raspy.

“Fucking idiot.” Wilbur scoffed, rolling his eyes. He muttered something unintelligible to himself before beginning to walk away, disappearing into the dark forest.

With a sigh, Tommy let his arm fall back to the ground. He shivered, raindrops slipping from his tear ducts.

He missed his big brother.

“This is just sad shit after sad shit…” Quackity huffed, “I’m fuckin tired of it man.”

“I don’t wanna see anymore…” Karl whispered, drawing his knees to his chest.

Phil remained silent, heart aching for his youngest.

It was just minutes before the festival. Lanterns had been strung up across the buildings, though they wouldn’t be too attention-grabbing till after dark. People were flowing in by the masses, taking seats and mingling. It was… nice. Even Technoblade looked to be enjoying himself, talking off to the side with Niki.

Tommy and Wilbur were perched precariously on the ledge of a taller tower, staring down at everyone. Tommy was dressed head to toe in netherite while Wilbur stood unarmed, trench coat draped across his frame.

“This is it, Tommy,” he giggled, “it’s finally time!”

“He didn’t actually set up the TNT… right?” George paled.

“Yeah…” Tubbo muttered, “he did.”

“Wilbur please, ” Tommy begged, eyes wide and pleading, “don’t do this.” He looked down below, watching the people. He frowned, chest growing tight. “This is our home. You don’t have to do this.”

“It’s too late now.” Wilbur chuckled, shaking his head. He went to turn but felt a slight tugging on his sleeve. Tommy had a firm grip on his coat, eyes grim.

“We’re not the villains.” The blond said point-blank.

“We are the villains!” Wilbur shouted, eyes going wide. “Look how nice this is, Tommy! Look how happy they are! We’re the villains in this story!”

Tommy felt his heart lurch, scanning the crowd and seeing friends and family. He didn’t want to do this. He so badly didn’t want to do this. His gaze fell on Tubbo and he couldn’t help but let out a low whine, as though he was pained.

I don’t want to do this… He thought quietly, but was quickly brought back to reality by a hand on his shoulder.

“If you wanted to stop me,” Wilbur began, “if you really didn’t want me to do this, you would have done something by now. You want this Tommy, don’t deny it.”

Tommy shuddered, taking in a large gulp of air. He opened his mouth to deny, to reply that what his brother had just said simply wasn’t true in the slightest, but no words came. Wilbur gave his shoulder a squeeze, smiling.

“Let’s get going,” he declared, turning on his heel, “the festival’s about to begin.”

Tommy stood watching, pale as a ghost.

“And he’s bloody right aint he?” Jack muttered bitterly. “If he didn’t wanna do it so badly why wouldn’t he have tried to stop him?”

“He had many opportunities, to be fair.” Techno pointed out.

“And h-”

“All of you be quiet.” Puffy whispered, though it rang throughout the room, silencing everyone instantly. Her head was bowed, shoulders shaking. “ Are you all batshit fucking stupid? ” She hissed.

“Are you just falling for Wilbur’s manipulation? Is that what this is?” She laughed incredulously, “you can’t be serious! Tommy doesn’t want to do it, he said he doesn’t want to i-it’s obvious he doesn’t want to! But he’s too scared of going against Wilbur!”

Everyone was completely quiet.

“He promised Wilbur he’d never leave him.” She said quietly, “and unlike some people here Tommy tries to stay true to his words.” .

Still, no one spoke. Specifically the three who had been most critical of Tommy had yet to reply.

“Whatever,” Puffy shook her head, smiling bitterly, “let’s just keep watching…”

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HOPE U GUYS LIKED IT!!! big plans for next chapter lol...

also quick disclaimer i want to say i actually LOVE c!wilbur and think he's a very good villain and also not inherently evil! he's really cool n i care him. ALSO!!! like ive previously mentioned i love c!niki and c!jack and like. i know how much you guys love to go like "arrhgggg!! why are they being like this!!! i hate them!!!!" but they're not gonna change in two seconds unfortunately T-T try and keep ur minds open to the fact that they have their own traumas and issues that arent being displayed on the screen and that their realizations and changes will be drawn out! they're being dicks Sometimes but everyone has their reasons

anyways thanks for reading love u guys!!!