Hermione tries to come to terms with her emotions and Draco is desperate to find her.

Hermione didn’t know where she was going, and frankly she didn’t really care at the moment. She hadn’t thought about that time in her life in so long. How frightened she had been, everyday...frightened for her life. How she’d had no one. No friends, acquaintances even...no one to talk to...to listen to her pain. She’d thought she had put it away, but listening to the fact that Draco had taken another witch on a fancy Valentine’s date made her furious and despondent at the same time.

Not that she’d ever really fancied Valentine’s Day—last year she and Draco weren’t officially together and they had snuck away for a bit of snogging.

This year...well...Draco had told her yesterday that he had something special planned for her and he wanted to spend time with just her tonight...in their room. They had gone to Hogsmeade together, held hands and kissed but Draco had never formally taken her on what she would consider a proper date. Yet, he’d taken another witch to a fancy restaurant in fourth year.

They weren’t together then and she had been dating Viktor...but still...it hurt, and she didn’t understand why.

Walking absentmindedly, she finally found herself by the spot where she had met with Nagini during her darkest days. Sitting down, and casting a notice-me-not charm, she gazed morosely out over the Black Lake.

It was cold and there was snow on the ground and she didn’t have her coat, so she cast warming charms...

...but it did little to help with the coldness she felt seeping through her bones.

She’d always been so strong, so determined...but now?

She felt bereft.

Elsewhere in the castle, Draco was in a state of controlled panic. He had gone to the Room of Requirement, but Hermione wasn’t there. He then went down to the music room, but she wasn’t there either. Moving towards the front hall, he saw Potter standing near the Great Hall entrance talking with Cho Chang. The witch gave him a cold look, but Potter nodded in greeting.

“Sorry to interrupt, but have you seen Hermione, Potter?”

Harry shook his head in the negative and Draco ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Looking at the blonde closely, Cho could see that Draco was truly worried and she felt momentary sympathy for the Slytherin Prince.

“I saw Hermione a little while ago, walking down towards the Black Lake.” Cho said softly.

Draco’s eyes widened, but then he bowed and nodded his thanks, taking off for the spot he was pretty sure his witch would be sitting at.

When he’d reached the place where Hermione used to meet Nagini, he cast a Hominem Revelio and sure enough? There was a signature. Apparently his witch had cast a series of spells to keep interested bystanders from noticing her. Moving over to the tree where he used to keep watch on his witch, Draco leant against it and sighed before speaking softly.

“Baby, I know you’re there.” Running a hand through his hair, Draco moved forward a bit towards the spot he knew his witch was sitting. “Baby, please...I know you’re angry with me, and you have every right to be, but please don’t shut me out.”

After a few moments of silence, Draco sighed heavily and sat down on the ground with his back to the tree, casting his own warming charms. He stared at the spot where Hermione should’ve been and leant forward, his arms resting on his knees.

“Daphne told me what you two discussed earlier, and she made me take a wand oath beforehand—so please don’t be angry with her. She’s worried about you, as am I. I’m so sorry, Hermione.” Draco paused and took a fortifying breath.

He continued to sit there in silence, hoping against hope that his witch would eventually talk to him. He silently cast the Hominem Revelio again and the same light flowed from his wand.

Hermione was there, just out of his reach.

He sat back and closed his eyes in shame, feeling tears falling from the corner of his eyes.

Hermione watched Draco as he sat there in silence. She had heard every word he’d said and her heart had reacted strongly to the emotion and pain she’d heard in his voice. He was truly sorry...she knew it...she had known it for a while and yet she couldn’t bring herself to respond. Daphne had told him and she knew she should be angry, but she understood where Daphne’s concern had come from—so while she was upset, she wasn’t angry at her friend.

Watching as tears leaked from Draco’s eyes, Hermione was shocked by his show of emotion.

Malfoy’s didn’t cry...didn’t show weakness.

Yet here was her love, breaking down in front of her. She could feel his pain...the necklace on her chest was thrumming with his emotions. She closed her eyes and remembered the words he’d spoken to his ancestor, and she remembered the feeling of love that had burned through her chest at his admission.

Sighing tiredly, she cancelled the spell, and watched as Draco’s eyes widened in relief when he saw her sitting there, watching him.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered so lowly, Draco almost didn’t hear it...almost.

“No, my heart. You have nothing to apologize for—do you hear me? Nothing! I on the other hand, will spend the rest of our lives apologizing for my stupid, arrogant, prejudiced mistakes. How can you even stand to be with me?”

Hermione gasped in shock. “Draco! I know what Daphne told you, and I never should’ve said anything to her.”

At Draco’s growl and vehement shaking of his head, Hermione stopped what she was about to say.

Draco, on the other hand, had quite a bit to say. “You obviously have been holding so much in for so long and I should’ve realized sooner, and for that I’m sorry. I was so happy and excited to finally have all of you? I guess I’d thought that what had happened was forgiven and forgotten. But how can you forget something if you’ve never had a proper chance to talk about it and heal from? So, I want you to talk to me, my love. Let me be your strength and your safe place. Let me help you heal your heart and soul. I need you to let me help you. I want to be that for you, baby, if you’ll let me.”

“I’m scared.” Hermione whispered, finally admitting out loud her deepest, darkest fears.

“What are you scared of?” Draco asked quietly.

“That if I share my pain with you, that you’ll come to resent me because of it. That you’ll get tired of saying your sorry every time I feel insecure because of our past history. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to deal with some of this. I’ve held it in for so long, it scares me how much the pain hurts some days when I remember what happened. It’s not all the time, or even very often...but sometimes something will trigger it. It feels what I’d imagine PTSD must feel like.”

Draco looked confused at the reference. “PTSD?”

Hermione nodded. “It’s a Muggle acronym for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s associated primarily with people who have gone through horrific experiences, primarily from wartime, but sometimes from other traumatic life events. I’ve kept my emotions in check for so long, that sometimes I just become overwhelmed when something triggers a memory from before.”

Sighing in resignation, Draco reached for Hermione and held her tightly to his body. He understood on some level what she was trying to tell him and it made sense in a way.

He as a child...he’d been taught from a young age to control his emotions and not allow anyone to see weakness. Hermione had been self-taught out of necessity and self-preservation. The thought made him angry and sad all at once.

“Then when it happens, talk to me. I know you’re upset about the fact that I took another witch out on a proper date and I haven’t exactly done that for you. That was what tonight was supposed to be about.”

Looking at her wizard in confusion, Hermione asked, “What are you talking about?”

Sighing softly, Draco kissed Hermione’s hand. “Well, I had asked a few of the House Elves to help me plan the perfect date tonight. So, if you’re still open to it, I’d love to show you exactly what I had planned for us.”

Hermione could see the cautious hope in Draco’s gaze and she didn’t want to disappoint him, plus she was curious about this date he had planned. “What do I need to do?”

Draco’s face lit up with a wide smile before he kissed Hermione softly, pulling out a box from his robes. “This is for you. When you get back to your dorm room, enlarge and open it. It contains everything you’ll need for tonight. Meet me at the Room of Requirement in an hour.”

Nodding gently, Hermione kissed Draco back and smiled softly. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Draco whispered back before he cupped Hermione’s face in his hands and kissed her reverently and thoroughly.

When they both come up for air, Draco moved to stand up, taking his witch with him. Holding her within his embrace, the pair walked back towards the castle together, not paying attention to the interested stares from their fellow classmates.

When Hermione reached her dorm room, she enlarged the box Draco had given her and gasped at what was located within the beautiful silver box. A stunning gown of emerald green silk flowed to the ground. The dress had a haltered bodice that had a jeweled clasp behind the neck and a tear drop opening that flowed down between her breasts. From the upper waist until the knees it was form-fitted and then gently flowed out to the floor. There was a matching pair of green silk heels that had silver embroidery on the sides. A silver clutch purse and she added a very skimpy pair of green lace thong knickers to wear under the dress. The choices were simply exquisite and Hermione couldn’t help but sigh in pleasure at her wizard’s thoughtfulness.

It was obvious great care had been taken with these selections and for the first time Hermione was truly excited for what a Valentine’s Day would bring.

Draco was busy putting the final touches on his plans for the evening. He had asked several of the Malfoy house elves to help him with his plans. Tilley, the Malfoy elf in charge of the cooking was making her special Herb-stuffed Cornish Hens with roasted potatoes and trifle for dessert. Draco had chosen a nice 1990 Domaine Michel Lafarge Bourgogne Pinot Noir that his Father had gotten during his last visit to France. Once the room was set, Draco set out his dress robes and went over to the en suite the Room of Requirement had conjured. Taking a shower and washing his hair, Draco mulled over the events of the afternoon, his thoughts drifting to what Daphne had shared with him.

It broke Draco’s heart to think about how traumatized Hermione must’ve felt as a frightened seven-year-old. Growing up without her real parents, she had no real understanding of magic, no way to know how she was different and no one to explain it to her. Her Muggle parents obviously cared about her, but they wouldn’t have understood how to help her...

...not really.

She’d been essentially alone her whole life before Hogwarts, with only her Muggle parents showing her any care or kindness. Then she found out she was a witch—what a relief that must have been for her.

To finally understand why she was different, unique...special.

But then she came to Hogwarts and on her very first day, he had effectively ostracized her and made her an outcast not just within their own house...but with all of the students.

As the water washed over Draco’s face, it hid the tears that started to flow as he remembered the look on Hermione’s face that very first night. She had been understandably confused as to his questions and when she’d told him she ‘wasn’t there to make friends,’ and it was like a light had shut off in her eyes. He had watched his witch fade each year from the first year through the beginning of fourth year.

How frail and alone she’d been...and he had done that.

How could she love him after everything he’d done?

Did he even deserve her love, her forgiveness?

If Draco had been a less selfish wizard, he’d have walked away and allowed some other wizard more worthy to court Hermione, but he loved her. She was his witch and he couldn’t...wouldn’t ever let her go.

Would she wake up someday and regret being with him?

He didn’t think so, but the thought was there nonetheless.

Finishing his shower and drying himself off, he waved his wand over his face to get rid of the red-rimmed and swollen eyes from the onslaught of tears. He needed to be strong for his witch, and he needed to remind her every day how much he loved her.

Getting dressed, he hoped that this night would be healing for the both of them.

Casting a tempus charm, the time flashed letting him know that his witch would hopefully be there shortly.

Making one final check and sending an incendio at the fireplace, he sat down and waited for his witch to arrive.