Paladin

Summary: Sometimes, being Taylor Hebert is suffering. Other times, you get to kill demons, so she has that going for her, which is nice.

For Samuel Roberts, Religion was a way of life. Raised by a former catholic priest, he had always been a very pious man. One of his happiest moments in life was when he had been to the Vatican, and through what some would call sheer dumb luck and others would call providence of the Lord, he had held a conversation with the very Pope himself, after which he had been gifted with a small phial of holy water, sanctified by the holiest man on Earth himself.

This was why, when a horde of demons attacked his hometown of Brockton Bay, New Hampshire, USA, he did not panic, he did not scream, even as his family huddled in terror behind him. Instead, he grabbed at the phial and his most well loved Bible, and confronted the hellish invader.

It balked when he denounced it in the name of the Lord, in the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, the holy Trinity. It screeeched in agony when he cornered it against a closed window.

It was strong enough to kill him if it got close still, however, but he had the phial.

Now was the time. Now was the time to prove that the power of God was supreme.

Thanking the lord for this most wonderful of gifts, preparing him for when the time came, he threw the phial of holy water, with all his might, trusting the Lord would guide it to land on target.

It did not. Instead the metallic cap of the phial went through the window behind the demonic adversary that faced him, and Samuel Roberts knew it landed, likely breaking and splashing its contents, on the alley that separated his apartment building with the one beside it.

"Oh fu-"

And then the demon tore him and his family apart, before devouring their carcasses.

Not two months after, Taylor Hebert, Emma Barnes and Madison Clements found themselves cornered in that same alley by a different demon. This one with the body of a man and the head of a goat, with empty sockets for eyes, yet it could still see.

It was also inexplicably hung like a horse, and they knew this because it wore nothing to conseal its genitalia.

It also did absolutely nothing to conceal its intentions. Through a reverberating, barely understandable gargle of a voice, it explained what it would do to them. It seemed wholly unenthusiastic about killing and raping them, in that order.

Madison had apparently tried to convince it to just have sex with them without killing them, but it was a necrophiliac, which meant that plan was a bust.

It cornered them in the alley and went after Emma first, knocking her into a wall. Madison was next, as he grabbed her and tore her clothes off first.

She was wearing leather underwear, and Taylor wondered how she could even do that without chafing or something.

As it approached Taylor herself, however, she saw a length of pipe that had a sharp end, as it had been torn from the wall improperly.

When it grabbed her by one leg and lifted her, she had the pipe in her hand, and when it was about to slam her to the ground, likely killing her, she moved first, stabbing its crotch with the sharp end of the pipe.

The demon seemed amused at first. Taylor hadn't really been listening, but she had heard it mention some sort of invulnerability against mundane weapons.

It certainly wasn't laughing when her improvised weapon stabbed through its crotch. And it was screaching in agony, having tossed her away, when its crotch suddenly caught fire.

And that was how Taylor killed her very first demon, whose name she never learned.

When the Protectorate showed up with an exorcist, Emma and Madison were hugging Taylor and thanking her for saving their lives, while Taylor held the pipe like it was the greatest holy weapon handed down from God Himself.

Jaime Rodriguez was a devout man. He went to mass every sunday. He read his Bible every Thursday. He raised his children to be proper and god fearing.

It only took five minutes for the first Succubus to cross his path to seduce him. It took two for him to promise to hand her his own children, both boys, for her to feed upon.

The father and his children were feeding the Succubus for a week, approaching the end of their lives as they simply could not give any more, and she would soon dispose of them.

Yet, she was not entirely unkind, and so she gave as much pleasure as she received, and took on the whole family at once.

That was the scene Taylor walked in on, with all four engaged in rather obscene acts.

"Who are you!?" the Succubus asked, her eyes narrowing as she looked at the cassock-wearing Taylor.

Smiling, Taylor used her middle finger to push her glasses into place and flip off the demon. "My name is Taylor Hebert, you crazy demonic bastard."

"I'm a woman," the Succubus protested.

"Call yourself whatever you want you crazy demonic bastard," Taylor continued. "I've come here to deliver unto you the love of the LORD!" she said, pointing at her with the Holy Pipe of Demon Extermination, patent pending. "I absolve you from your sins, in the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit!"

"You will DI-"

The Succubus' words were cut off, as her throat now contained an excessive amount of Holy Lead Pipe.

The man removed himself from the bleeding corpses, and helped his children off.

"Amen," Taylor said, grinning widely to herself. She held out her hand and her weapon returned to it.

"Oh, thank you, Lord, for sending your champion to our rescue!" the man said.

Taylor glared at him. "You are soiled, despoiled, broken. Seek refuge and pray the Lord may have mercy upon your soul," she said, and then walked away.

"I," Taylor began, "used to be the victim of bullies. Every day, without fail, they would gather together to find their joy in erradicating mine."

Everyone looked at her.

"And then the Lord said, 'NO MORE!' and so they were punished, shown the error of their ways, as the very devil that they imitated sent one of his pawns to bring upon them their just desserts! But the Lord forgives, and the Lord saves! The Lord showed me the way, to earn not their destruction, but their love, respect and adoration! Indeed, today I stand before you, welcoming our new sisters, having completed adequate training! I welcome amongst our number, Emma Barnes, she who was my own personal Judas, and Madison Clements, her sycophantic follower!"

"But Paladin," someone protested, "were they not your torturers?"

"Do not presume arrogance of that sort, Theo," Taylor said, wagging her finger. "It is not within our rights or privilege to lay judgment upon another. To Judge is a task and obligation for the Divine, for those without the trappings of man, for those who may see without our bias, weakness or blindness! No, it is not our duty nor right, and therefore, I shall abstain from judging those who have wronged me in the past, for only the Lord may Judge! Indeed, Judgment is a privilege of the divine!"

"But still, Paladin," someone else added, "would you not say that teaching them your ways, granting them your strength, was going too far in the other direction?"

"Perhaps it might be so, Carlos," Taylor said, looking at the boy she had rescued from a Succubus alongside his father and older brother. "Hear me, Iscariot! Judgment is a task for the divine, but forgiveness? Forgiveness is indeed, a trait all too human! Remember this well!"

The group of five dozen demon hunters, formed not long after the demonic invasion of Earth had begun in earnest, shouted in approval.

The common man and woman, gathered together by the common goal of kicking the invaders out of their home, centered on a young girl. Quite an interesting situation. Even those formerly thought of as demons or monsters, the Parahumans that had seen so much hate, had joined under her banner.

"We do not ask for your poor or your hungry," Emma stated, her sword slicing through the kevlar vest like it wasn't even there, splitting the man in half. She quickly backed away from the hail of gunfire, "we do not want your tired and sick. It is your corrupt we claim!"

Fourteen men quickly piled into the room, unleashing a hail of gunfire upon the gathered members of Iscariot, most of whom hit cover, though quite a few were riddled full of holes and filled with lead.

"It is your evil that will be sought by us!" Madison continued, as she threw a handful of small iron spheres into the air. The armored men seemed to scramble for a moment, but before they could move, the spheres seemed to ignite and explode, spreading their bodies over the entrance they had broken through. "With every breath we shall hunt them down. Every day, we will spill their blood! Until it rains down from the skies!" she spoke.

"DO NOT KILL! DO NOT RAPE! DO NOT STEAL!" the bulk of Iscariot shouted, the demonic imps that flooded the room choosing that moment to attack, only to be slaughtered by the holy weapons of Iscariot.

"These are principles which every man, of every faith, can embrace!" Emma continued, jumping up into the balcony that looked over the main dance hall of the palace they were assaulting. Once she landed on the rail, she flashed her sword, a Japanese katana that she had picked up originally for its symbolic value to her, and beheaded a fat, piglike demon, as well as his three human guards. "These are not polite suggestions! These are codes of behavior!"

She knew that behind her, three men with assault rifles were taking aim, but she found no fear.

Madison's handguns, both high caliber pistols, unleashed their fury on those men, the bullets ripping through their body armor like it was tissue. "Those of you who ignore them, shall pay the dearest cost!" Madison shouted.

Emma smirked.

"There are varying degrees of evil," Emma explained.

"We urge you, lesser forms of filth," Madison said, gesturing with her pistols at the gathered people, all of whom varied in looks from the fabulously wealthy to even working men and women, as well as the prostitutes that had been arranged for their entertainment. "Do not push the bounds! Do not cross over into true corruption!"

"Into our domain," Emma said, closing her eyes. She kept her ears open, however, and was more than able to hear the armed guards that were using a special weapon, tinker-made, to peer through the walls. She moved first, and her sword went through the concrete with ease, slicing into the man behind it, splitting his head in half and destroying the scope of the weapon, rendering its piercing power pointless. A flick of her sword left a scar on the wall and a destroyed rifle as well.

"If you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see Iscariot!" Madison crowed, as she reloaded and let loose another barrage, upon a closed door. It broke, and four men, dying, crashed through it. "And you will reap what you have sown!"

"WE WILL SEND YOU TO YOUR GOD!" the members of Iscariot crowed,

"And shepherds we shall be, for thee, O Lord, for thee, power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command!" Emma chanted.

"We shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls it shall ever be," Madison finished, solemnly.

Both Emma and Madison converged into the main hall, as the Leader of Iscariot walked into the room and threw a man in. His head was shaven. He bore finery and highly expensive clothes. He had been the leader of the organization that had been seduced by the power of the Devil, who had fallen headfirst into corruption.

Their target.

"In nomine Patris," Taylor said.

"Et fillis," Emma continued.

"Et spiritus sancti," Madison spoke.

"Amen," Taylor finished.

And so the leader of the Empire 88 was delivered unto the Lord.

The corruptor and corrupted stared in awe, as Deliverance approached.

"W-Who... who are you?"

Taylor grinned.

"Taylor Hebert," she said. "My name is Taylor Hebert."

She closed her eyes.

"And I like killing things because it's fun," she said. "So just you pray, just you pray~"

Hm. So someone suggested giving Taylor the powers of the Monster of God, but I feel like there's no real need for that.

A holy chunk of metal, the ability to heal quickly from wounds through an unexplained method (totally nanobots tho) and an enemy to slaughter is all she needs.

Also can't make a proper reference to TFS's Anderson without quoting Boondocks Saints. Though I have to admit I am ashamed I had to look up the courtroom speech 'cause I couldn't remember it well enough to write it from memory. It's been years, people! Like, more than ten at least!